My Delight is in Her
I was raised in the church - christened as an infant, accepted Jesus into my heart as a child, went through confirmation in middle school, participated in youth group/bible studies/mission trips/church camps all the way through. I couldn’t tell you the date or even the year when my salvation was sealed but I have confidence that from that day forward I was loved, chosen, accepted, pursued and have had the gift of the Holy Spirit. Unfortunately, I did not put in the time, effort and energy into building a foundation for myself with Jesus as the cornerstone. I drifted along through college and as a young adult. Career. Marriage. Kiddos. The fun. The mundane. My brokenness lingered in the shadows. My companion was shame instead of the Holy Spirit. The Father of Lies lied in wait for an opportunity to entangle me in his snare. In hindsight I can see how his schemes began in adolescence. Small seeds planted along the way that weren’t dealt with and were able to flourish in the darkness. By the time I took notice of my garden of weeds, thistles & thorns and the rotten fruit it bore in my life, I was devastated and experienced a level of hopelessness that allowed sin to run rampant. In 2023, I would hit what I can only describe as my rock bottom. I am unbelievably aware that it wasn’t true rock bottom - it absolutely could have been worse - but it was my rock bottom in that I could no longer stomach the person I had become. The beauty of rock bottom is the firm footing to bounce off of, an opportunity to change course. The trip there was not linear and there were several times I thought it was rock bottom only to have the floor give way when I attempted to push off of it.
“Hi, my name is Katie Olson and I am broken. It has been one year since my last rock bottom."I studied the Old Testament last year. Many days I felt too ashamed and unworthy to even open the Bible, much less take anything it said as a truth for me, but out of my desperation, I was disciplined and determined to find something to cling to. Isaiah was a favorite and a reminder that we are God’s creation, and we are beautiful to him.
When I read this chapter, I felt like it was being spoken directly to my heart –
“You shall be called a new name that the mouth of the LORD will give” (62:2)
“You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD…” (62:3)
“You shall no more be termed Forsaken; you should be called My Delight is in Her…” (62:4)
It is my hope that something that I share resonates with you and changes the course of your life, love, and happiness so you can flourish in your relationship with God, others, and yourself. I will be vague with my own story so you can insert and weave in your own and ultimately find hope and the will to forgive yourself from whatever trials and tribulations that led you to feel unforgivable.
